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Behind
every man is a smart woman.
Behind every man is a smart woman. Barbara Walters of 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that the women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands. She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands. From Ms. Walters vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom. Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?" The women looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes and without hesitation, said "Land mines." Moral of the story: Behind every man is a smart woman.
7 reasons not to mess with children A
little girl: was talking to her teacher about whales. A
Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they
were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work. A
Sunday school teacher: was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six
year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that
teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" One
day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the
kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white
hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. The
children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade
them each to buy a copy of the group picture. A
teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make
the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the
blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary
position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" The
children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for
lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a
note, and posted on the apple tray: Moving
further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of
chocolate chip cookies.
The Captain was Jewish, and the new First Officer was Chinese. It was the first time they had flown together, and it was obvious by the silence that they didn't get along. After 30 minutes, the Captain finally spoke. He said, " I don't like Chinese. " The F.O. replied, " Ooooh, no like Chinese? Why is that? " The Captain said, " You bombed Pearl Harbor. That's why I don't like Chinese. " The F.O. said, " Nooooo, noooo ... Chinese not bomb Pearl Harbah. That JAPANESE, not Chinese. " And the Captain answered, " Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese ... it doesn't matter. They're all alike. " Another 30 minutes of silence. Finally the First Officer said, " No like Jew. " The Captain replied, " Why not? Why don't you like Jews? " " Jews sink Titanic. " Said the F.O. The Captain tried to correct him, " No, no. The Jews didn't sink the Titanic. It was an iceberg. " " Iceberg, Goldberg, Rosenberg .. no mattah .. all same "
HE: Can I buy you a drink? HE: I'm a photographer. I've been looking for a face like yours. HE: Hi. Didn't we go on a date once? Or was it twice? HE: How did you get to be so beautiful? HE: Will you go out with me this Saturday? HE: Your face must turn a few heads. HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out. HE: What would you say if I asked you to marry me? HE: Can I have your name? HE: Shall we go see a movie? HE: Is this seat empty? HE: So, what do you do for a living? HE: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. HE: Where have you been all my life?
A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read: "Dear Wife: "Dear Husband:
A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the
following exchange:
A guy is walking past a big wooden fence at the insane asylum and he hears all the residents inside chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!" Quite curious about this, he finds a hole in the fence, and looks in. Someone inside pokes him in the eye. Then, everyone inside the asylum starts chanting, "Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!"
There were these two guys out hiking when they came upon an old, abandoned mine shaft. Curious about its depth they threw in a pebble and waited for the sound of it striking the bottom, but they heard nothing. They went and got a bigger rock, threw it in and waited. Still nothing. They searched the area for something larger and came upon a railroad tie. With great difficulty , the two men carried it to the opening and threw it in. While waiting for it to hit bottom, a goat suddenly darted between them and leapt into the hole! The guys were still standing there with astonished looks upon their faces from the actions of the goat when a man walked up to them. He asked them if they had seen a goat anywhere in the area and they said that one had just jumped into the mine shaft in front of them! The man replied, 'Oh no. That couldn't be "my" goat, mine was tied to a railroad tie.'
To Help Newspaper Readers The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.
The little boy greeted his grandmother with a hug and said, " I’m so happy to see you, Grandma. Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been promising us." The grandmother was curious, "What trick was that, dear?" she asked. The little boy replied, "I heard Daddy tell Mommy that he would climb the walls if you came to visit us again."
A woman was in a gambling casino for the first time. At the roulette she says, "I have no idea what number to play." A young, good-looking man nearby suggests she play her age. Smiling at the man, she puts her money on number 32. The wheel is spun, and 41 comes up. The smile drifted from the woman's face and she fainted. |
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